The Christmas Present

"I bought some Christmas decorations from Wal-Mart," Charly said as I got home from work.

"Really?" I asked skeptically.

"Yup," she said, "Come look."

I followed Charly over into the living room. She was practically glowing with excitement.

"I bought these candles, and these window decorations, and these lights, oh, and look. I bought two kinds of wrapping. One color is for you and the other is for me. What one do you like the most?"

I looked down at the two colors. "I like the silver one," I said.

"Good, I like the white one more," she replied with a grin.

A week later and after Thanksgiving day, Charly and I were in the house. We had aquired a small Christmas tree from Charly's mom and decorated it. The tree looked really good. Charly had hand made a ton of small paper snowflakes, we had borrowed some hand made ornaments, and even made some on a date together. Charly walked over to the tree. She was holding a large box. To this day I'm still not sure what was in it.

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's a Christmas gift," She answered.

"Is it for me?" I asked again.

"No silly, it's for both of us." She replied smiling.

At that moment I was struck with the realization that our brilliant plan in having two colors of wrapping paper, one for each of us, was flawed. My face fell and I looked at Charly with an expression of grave concern on my face, "If it's for both of us how are we suppose to wrap it?"

She just laughed at me.

Soap in a Bottle

The other day Charly bought some soap that was... inexpensive. She bought it because I told her that I wasn't picky about my soap. Well, when I started using the soap I learned that I actually was kind of picky, at least I learned that I didn't like this soap.

It made my skin feel like rubber...

So I did what any other husband would do in this situation, I started using Charly's soap. Of course I was only going to use it until I could get some good soap for me to use. 

One day however. While I was using the soap I knocked it down into the tub. The was in a bottle and I noticed a price tag on the bottom of the bottle. The soap was like $12! For a tiny little bottle of soap! What does it have gold in it? Needless to say I started using the rubbery soap again.

Charly has since bought me soap that I like that wasn't $12.

New Family Goals

Eat Healthy 
No eating refined sugars
Drink enough water for the day
Eat fruits and vegetables for the day

Budget Money 
No spending money without consulting the other person (excepting necessities)
No eating out, even when traveling
Plan date night expenses in advance

Exercise 
Exercise every day ... even if it's Just Dance together.

A List of Charly's Gifts and Talents

Charly and I are taking a marriage class at Church. It's really fun. This week we decided to take some advice from the class and list each others talents and gifts. We are starting off with 5. We will update this as we go.

1. Charly is supportive. This is something I learned about her just recently and I love it about her.

2. Charly is great at dance and great at teaching it.

3. Charly is an amazing writer. I love everything she has ever written.

4. Charly is loving. Not just with me but with everyone she knows. She cares about people.

5. Charly is a great wife! I'm serious. Other men should be really jealous of me.

A List of Ben's Gifts and Talents

This will not be comprehensive or the list will never end. I'm serious; my husband does EVERYTHING. I've never met anyone so talented. 

1. Patience. Benjamin has this gift as no one else I know. There have been many times since we've gotten married when Ben has needed to patient with me. Those times come mostly when things don't go according to my plan and I get grumpy. Those are the times when, even though I don't show it, that I am most grateful for Ben and his patience with me. Our relationship thrives on his patience. 

2. Believing. Ben has a talent for helping others believe in themselves.  

3. Learning. Ben has the gift of learning. I attribute this in part to his home schooling and the way his mother taught him to learn. He isn't afraid to try new things, he is observant enough to pick up the tricks of how to do things, and he is just naturally good at new things. 

4. Love. Ben has the gift of love. He is always serving, always looking for ways to help others. There are so many times when I catch him thinking of others, especially his family, before himself and I don't think he even realizes it. 

5. Everything. This one might be cheating, but Ben seems to have the talent of being talented at everything. This probably is due to his ability to learn and his fearlessness in trying new things. If you know Ben, you know that Ben also really gets into things. He goes through phases, but during his "piano phase," he does piano all the time. When he goes through his "art phase," art is all he does. 

My Favorite Picture of Charly

This is my favorite picture of Charly because it reminds me of before Charly and I were even dating. I remember looking at this picture and just thinking how beautiful Charly is. I wanted so bad to go on a date with her.

I'm such a lucky guy.

When I Was Oblivious to Charly's Signals that She Wanted Me to Hold Her Hand.

I'm just an oblivious sort of guy. I know there were many times where Charly wanted me to hold her hand but I didn't. She probably gave me some sort of signal as well. I know all the signals now because she has told them to me. Before though, I had no clue.

I remember one night when we were at Charly's house and we were watching Robin Hood. During the movie I really wanted to kiss her. I don't think we were even dating at the time yet but I sure wanted to kiss her. I didn't though.

I remember another time when Charly and I were at the temple and I was showing her something on my iPod. She was holding the iPod so I used that as an excuse to put my hand under the hand she was using to hold the iPod. It was a small moment to everyone else but it was huge for me.

You see, I take any sort of physical statement very seriously. I feel that holding hands is something you should only do if you really like somebody. I know everyone will have different views on this but the fact is that most girls take physical attention as a sign of love and guys don't usually see it the same. There are exceptions to this but many times this is true. I think that men need to be careful. They might lead a girl on without even meaning to just because they don't see things the same way.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm actually a very physical person once I feel like I'm committed to a relationship but before that I'm very careful. I don't know if this is the best way to be while dating but it's the way I chose to be.

I know this was very frustrating for Charly but I didn't know this at the time... well, mostly. Charly has always been very patient with me and I love that about her. I know it drives her crazy sometimes. I guess when it comes to love crazy can be a good thing.

When I Couldn't Get Ben to Hold my Hand ...

Ben and I went on our first date January 2011. 
We didn't start exclusively dating until January 2012. 
In that year, we didn't kiss. We didn't hold hands. 
The most I got out of Ben was an arm around my shoulder while we took a picture. 
It was a really long year for me. 

This is the picture with his arm around me.

In October of 2011, about eight months after our first date, I started to get a little impatient with how slowly Benjamin was moving. I liked him a lot. And I mean, A LOT. And I knew he liked me. That was about the time we both started being more obvious about our feelings for each other. But I couldn't understand, if Ben liked me as much as I knew he did, why he didn't make any moves. 

I really wanted Ben to hold my hand. I knew he was careful with his kisses and I didn't expect him to kiss me for a long time. But holding my hand, I thought that was a reasonable expectation. 

Now, normally I didn't have any qualms about holding a guy's hand first. With Ben, though, I was so nervous. I couldn't make myself do it, for whatever reason. 

So, I started hinting. At first, I was subtle. When that didn't work, my hints slowly grew more obvious. Every single time we went out, we would sit close to each other. So close that our legs would be touching. Our hands would be sitting right next to each other. 

But Ben never held my hand. I couldn't understand it. 

Then we started dating exclusively. It was wonderful and exciting and I couldn't have been happier. But he still didn't hold my hand. My family teased me mercilessly when they found that out. 

When I saw him next, we were watching a movie. We were sitting in our normal position, sitting close enough to be touching, both our hands free and sitting next to each other. I sat there, once again wanting to reach for his hand but feeling nervous. Then I thought, "This is ridiculous, we're dating. I can hold hands with my boyfriend." So I did. And later that night, he kissed me. 

It was a great weekend for me. Later, when talking about this situation, Ben told me that he hadn't held my hand because it just hadn't occurred to him. He had wanted to kiss me several times before that, but holding hands wasn't as big of a deal to him as it was to me. Now we look back and laugh at it. 

Benjamin in Only 1 Word

Patient.

If you know Benjamin at all, you will understand why I chose this word. For Ben, being patient is more than something he simply does; patience is something he is. When he drives, when he talks, when he helps me with my math homework--Ben is patient. This is one of the biggest differences in our personalities and I am constantly striving to be more like him in this area. It's one of the first things I noticed about him and continues to be one of my favorite things about my husband.

How to Make a Marriage Work

My Grandma Pat died when I was very young. At her funeral, they read a few excerpts from her journal. My Grandma Sue, the woman my Grandpa ended up remarrying, was at the funeral and heard as they read the words, "Arno knew how to make a marriage work," straight from my grandmother's everyday journal.

That is my Grandpa Sue's favorite lessons for the  grandchildren--that my grandfather knows how to make a marriage work and why.

Benjamin, too, knows how to make a marriage work. This is a list of some of those ways.

1. Ben is patient with me. Even when I am grumpy or talkative or irritated or excited.

2. Ben does all the little things still--things like opening the door or putting his arm around me in church.

3. Ben does the dishes while I'm at work and offers to help with dinner.

4. Ben will do things for me even when it isn't necessarily the thing he wants to be doing. He goes grocery shopping and helps me with math homework late at night and drives me to dance.

5. Ben never treats me poorly. He never says anything to me or about me that would indicate a poor opinion of me. Ben lets me know that he thinks I am wonderful and that I can be wonderful.

6. Ben snuggles with me in the mornings when we wake up. I don't know if every healthy marriage needs this, but it sure helps ours.

7. Ben is thoughtful enough to think of my needs. He will carry heavy things, unload the car, and give up his jacket in the cold for me. I never even have to ask.

8. Ben makes me laugh. It is my personal opinion that not every person in the world needs to marry someone funny. What I think they do all need is to marry someone they can laugh with. Our marriage is so much the better for the daily laughter Benjamin brings into it.

9. Ben never lets me wonder if he loves me or misses me or thinks I am beautiful. He will text me, call me, message me on Facebook, leave me notes. It's the last thing he tells me before we fall asleep at night and often the first thing he says when he wakes up.

10. Ben loves the Lord. He makes sure we make it to church every week. He leads me in scripture study and remembers to pray more often than I do. He holds my hand every night as we kneel in couple prayer. Benjamin has a wonderful, strong testimony and that testimony makes our marriage so much the better.

The First Time I Saw Charly

I guess it isn't technically the first time we saw each other because we did meet before my mission but we were both young and we didn't even notice each other, so we don't count it.

Here is the real story of the first time I saw Charly.

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It was Saturday, November 20th, 2010.

It was snowing, I was driving to one of my best friends' birthday party, and I was lost.

I had taken the wrong exit and I was trying to find my way to his house through the neighborhoods. I must have hit hundreds of dead end roads. That's how the neighborhoods are in West Jordan but I didn't know that. I was a country boy from Vernal, Utah, just off my mission and out going to college. The dead ends didn't detour me, though. Well, I had to go around them, but they didn't stop me.

I was late but I finally found Jeremy's house. When I got up to the door there was a note on it that said something about the birthday party being at his grandparent's house. I'd been to their house before but it had been a long time and I didn't remember how to get there. Luckily for me there were directions on the note and they were simple enough to follow.

Before getting in the car I made some footprints in the snow to write a phrase on Jeremy's lawn. It said,

"Ben was here."

I smiled at myself, pleased with the joke.

I quickly found Jeremy's grandparents' house and went inside. Jeremy and I hadn't seen each other since before my mission and it was really good to see him. He had some other friends over and a girl that I knew that he liked.

Jeremy's mom Kim got everyone organized and we started playing party games. The first one we played was a game where all the questions were about Jeremy and we had to see how well we knew him. I'm sad to say that after over two years without seeing him I was terrible at the game.

While playing the next game, Jeremy's little sister Brynndi came over and sat down next to me. She was only five-years-old and she was super cute. She had been practically a baby before my mission and I didn't remember her that well. Now she was leaning against me and grabbing my arm and just being a little girl. How could I resist? We instantly became friends and she even started helping me with the game. Little did I know that the friendship I built with Brynndi that night would play a large role in my first date with Charly.

After the game about Jeremy, we started playing a game where you had to stand up and convince people that some story (one that had actually happened to a different person in the room) had happened to you. The game was mostly about lying and I was pretty good at that one. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Nevertheless, I was good at it.

During one part when I was standing up, the door to the room opened and a cute blonde girl walked in. She was smiling and Jeremy went over to her to give her a hug and chew her out for being late. I just stared at her for a couple heartbeats. She had a huge smile that lit up her whole face and she was exactly my kind of beautiful. I felt my heart tighten in my chest and I wanted to get to know her better.

She looked over at me and gave me the most curious look that I thought made her even more endearing. That's about the time I looked away and started trying to show off for her. I'm sure I impressed her with my lying skills.

Even though I wasn't looking at her anymore, it was like my mind was always aware of her and where she was in the room. I hadn't ever felt that way about anyone before and I would never feel that way about any other girl.

The rest of the party was fun and I even got to see her again the next day. Every time I was around her, though, it was the same thing: I always knew where she was. She was in my head and I didn't want her to leave.

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Now I know this is kind of a long story but I feel that it is worth it. Next week Charly and I will tell the story of our first date. It is super funny and we will be putting up a post in the middle of this week announcing a little more about it.

Charly and I appreciate everyone who reads and comments on our blog. Thank you guys for the support. We really enjoy sharing our experiences with you. We hope you enjoy them and maybe even learn from them too.

The First Spark Between Benjamin and Me

Jeremy's birthday is on November 19th. He held his eighteenth birthday party the next day, a Saturday. Aaaaaand, because he's Jeremy, he didn't tell me about his party until after I had already committed to babysit. 

But Jeremy's my best friend. In the whole world. I couldn't not go to his 18th birthday party. 

So, I told him I would be there late. And I was. I was there very late. 

It seemed that the forces were against me that night ... 
The couple I was babysitting for stayed out late. They didn't get home until after ten. 
When they did finally get home, we had to shovel my car out of the snow. Literally. 
I had to get gas. And almost crashed my car into a tree on the way. 
I hadn't wrapped Jeremy's present yet. So, I had to stop at home to do that. 
And I ended up battling a snow storm in the dark to get actually get to the party. I was terrified.

Before I left my house to drive to the party, I glanced in the bathroom mirror. My hair was in a falling-out, frazzled ponytail after my long, busy day. I had very little (as in, only mascara) make up on. I was wearing jeans and a green t-shirt I'd owned since seventh grade. It was one of my typical babysitting outfits. I thought, before rushing out the door, It's fine, my friends have all seen me worse than this. 

I got to the party, but the blizzard had scared away most of Jeremy's guests (meaning his friends, the ones who were also my friends) away. All that remained was his family and three people I had never met before. One was a girl, Jeremy's latest crush. One was Alex Hill, a junior in Jeremy's seminary class. And one was Benjamin Anderson. 

How in the world does Jeremy have a friend that attractive and I don't know him? I thought, when I first saw him. I didn't say anything, though; the combination of my shy nature and Ben's good looks was too much for words. 

The group was already playing a game when I got there. I quietly sat and watched, content simply that I had made it to the party. The game they were playing required three people to stand in the front of the room at a time. Ben was up when it happened. 

I looked up at Ben just as he glanced over at me. 
Our eyes caught. 
And, I felt it.
The spark. The one that everyone talks about. 
I felt it. 
And blushed, of course. 
And quickly dropped my gaze. 

We didn't talk that night, not really. But that night, I went home with a head full of Benjamin, dreaming. 

Dreaming of a love story with Benjamin Anderson. 

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (My Favorite Picture of Ben and Me)

Ben and I decided we wanted to do a short and sweet post this week, since nothing particularly exciting or funny happened to us since we last posted (unless you count Benjamin pretending to be a dinosaur as he ate his broccoli at the restaurant on date night ...). 

This is my favorite picture of Benjamin and I.

I know, I know, it has someone else in it. But here's the thing. This is one of the first pictures Ben and I took together, back before we were even dating for the first time. Also, the guy on the left is my very best friend Jeremy, who is currently on a mission. 

After Jeremy left on his mission and while I was long-distance-dating Ben, I would look at this picture and it would break my heart, I missed them both so much.

But looking at this picture, that's when I knew where I always wanted to stay.

Right there, between Jeremy and Benjamin. Forever. 

10 Reasons Why I Fell in Love With Charly

Here are the top 10 reasons why I fell in love with Charly.

1. She has a strong testimony of the gospel.

This is number one because it is the most important to me.

2. She loves me.

This one is also very important. I know Charly loves me because of the way she treats me. She is patient with me when I'm going through one of my hobby phases. She writes me love notes and nice things all the time. She makes me feel like I'm the best guy alive even when I know I still have a ton to learn. I love her for it.

3. She loves children.

This is something we both have in common. We love to be with children. From day one we were always around children. We would both play with them and be silly. I'm usually much sillier than Charly though. We are excited to have our own children some day and I know Charly will be a great mother to them because I've seen her with children.

4. She is adventurous and fun to be around.

It's always an adventure with Ben and Charly... That's our motto. Some of the dates we have been on were the most fun I have ever had. We've sneaked cloths pins on to strangers, volunteered at clothing stores as greeters, put on puppet shows, and went to tons of fun dances.

5. She is a writer and she loves reading.

Yeah, I cheated and put two in here. Reading and writing is something we have in common just like our love for children. We spent lots of hours talking about different books we had read and others that we might read. Charly writes stories and I think she is an amazing writer. I love reading her stories.

6. She always tries to think of others.

I can think of many examples where she has done this but the one that stands out most to me is when she worked so hard to make sure everyone could make it to our wedding. She had to sacrifice some things that she wanted in order to make it possible and I admire that in her.

7. She wants to home-school our kids.

This one is pretty straight forward. I was home-schooled and I loved it. It is something that is important to me and it is to Charly as well.

8. She laughs at me.

I'm really.... goofy. Some people think I'm funny and some people can't figure me out. I love that Charly always laughs at me, even when I'm being ridiculous... and trust me... my jokes are ridiculous.

9. She is patient with me.

I sort of already put this one down up close to the top. Trust me though, sometimes I take a ton of patience. You should just watch me put my shoes on.

10. She is beautiful.

Don't say it's shallow because it's not. Everyone wants to fall in love with someone they find attractive and everyone has their own version of attractive. In my world Charly is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Sometimes I just stare at her and think how beautiful she is. She usually gets mad at me for staring at her. I think it's cute. My favorite thing about her looks is her eyes.

End

I love Charly so much. These 10 reasons, and many more that I didn't even list, remind me every day of how much I love her. I'm so lucky to have found her and also to still have her.

My 10 Favorite Things About Benjamin

1. He loves me. And I thank Heavenly Father for him everyday.

2. He tries so hard to be a good husband, especially with the little things. For example, while both of us like our house to be clean, I'm the type of person who likes everything to have a spot, a place where it "goes." Ben isn't really like that at all. When we first got married, I would joke with Benjamin because he would forever be leaving his shoes all over the place. So, I would pick them up and put them in their "spot" in the spare room. When I joked with him, I was only kidding; it didn't actually bother me at all. I've caught him several times now, though, taking off his shoes and putting them in their "spot." He such a sweet husband because he does little things like that everyday.

3. Ben loves to just be close to me. The first few times Ben came over to give me a hug for no reason, I asked him "What? What do you want?" My family just isn't as touchy (if you want proof of that, go try to give my brother Jon a hug). It makes me feel so loved that Ben comes over to cuddle with me for a minute or to give me a hug, or just scoots closer so that our arms are touching before we fall asleep.

4. He lets me cry. I know this one may sound weird. It's not that I'm sad all the time, I just cry a lot. I am a very emotional person. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm frustrated, I cry when I'm upset, I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I feel the spirit, I cry when I feel particularly blessed and thankful.  But Ben, as the sweet and caring husband he is, will just hold me until I'm done and then make me laugh. I cannot even tell you how much this means to me.

5. He takes people as they are. This is something that I noticed (and admired) right away in him, and I've always admired him for it. He doesn't judge people or criticize them for their differences and their flaws. He sees those things as them being them. He knows they can change, and helps them do so, but in the meantime, he simply lets them be themselves.

6. He works on improving his many talents. Do you understand how talented my husband is? He does everything--art, guitar, singing, violin, piano, programming, reading, writing, dancing, the Pokemon card game, riding a unicycle. Seriously. He does everything and I love that about him.

7. His jokes. They're ridiculous, every time. But everyday, without fail, he makes me laugh. Every single day.

8. He believes in people, but more importantly, he believes in me. And when you have someone believing in you in every day, it doesn't take long for you to start believing in yourself.

9. He serves others. He is better than me at seeing other people's needs and meeting them. He's such an example to me in this. It's one of the reasons I fell for him. I knew I was looking for something special in my (at the time, future) husband.This attitude that Ben possesses was one of those things.

10. All of these are just pieces of what makes Ben such a wonderful person and such a great husband. And I love all of that. But do you know what my absolute favorite thing about Benjamin is? He's my husband.

Our Story (In Only 20 Lines)

We met at my cousin's birthday party.
Ben liked me. I thought he was a creeper.
He asked me out.
I said yes.
That was the night I fell for Benjamin Anderson.

We started playing the "I like you but don't know if you like me" game. A year passed.
Then he took me dancing.
That night, we became official. It was both wonderful and awful.
Wonderful, because we were in love.
Awful, because it was long distance.

After six months of dating, we realized something in our relationship was off.
The timing just wasn't right. We knew it and the Lord knew it.
We trusted the Lord, so we broke up.
And my heart broke.
Four months later, we started talking again, just as friends.

Six months after we broke up, Ben told me he still loved me.
Eight months after we broke up, he wrote me a letter.
At this point, I had my mission call. He told me he wanted me to stay home and marry him.
So I did.
Best decision I have ever made.