Locking the Door

Tuesday morning Charly got up to get ready for school and found the bathroom door locked from the inside. I have a funny habit of locking doors, almost an obsession with it actually. I guess I locked the door while leaving the bathroom.

We didn't have a key for the door.

"You must have locked the bathroom door," Charly said to me. I was still in bed and was planning on sleeping in just a little because I had been up late the night before working on an assignment.

"Try the little wire," I replied sleepily from the bed.

We have a wire we use to open our front door sometimes. We only have one key but the wire lets us lock the door and then open it no matter who gets home first or who has the key. I could hear Charly fiddling around with the door but she couldn't seem to get it open so I got out of bed and walked over.

"The wire won't open it," She said. I tried it anyway, like most stubborn husbands would. Sure enough, it didn't fit.

I was fully awake now and for some strange reason I was enjoying this ridiculous challenge. I grabbed a screw driver from a kitchen drawer and started taking the door knob off. I had replaced door knobs before so I knew what I was doing. I was able to remove the door knob and then unlock the door. Afterwards I put the knob back on, vowing to never lock the bathroom door like that again.

I think I might have gone back to bed but I don't remember... I felt silly for locking the door but I'm pretty sure Charly was impressed with my amazing door knob hacking skills.

Drive-Thru Reception

This week my cousin Gavin got married in the temple. It was really cool and I was super excited that Charly and I got to drive to Vernal to see it. Out of all of my cousins I probably spent the most time with Gavin growing up.

Well, so on to the story. Charly and I also went to the reception. Before we went we were talking about how long we would be there and I said, "In and out." I mean, Gavin is a really close cousin to me but nobody likes receptions... I'm pretty sure Gavin doesn't anyway.

"I love receptions," Charly said.
"Of course she does." I thought to myself.

You see, my idea of a perfect reception is a drive-thru reception. I tried to get Charly to do this for our wedding but to no avail.

The ideas is that you have three tables... like this
 ___   ___   ___
|      |  |      | |      |

Impressive graphics right? Anyway... The first table will have a picture of you and your spouse... that way you don't have to be there, the second table will have a book for the family and friends to sign, and the last will be a nice big table for everyone to leave the gifts on. Each person will simply drive their car up and stop at each table for each action... It's perfect!

I guess most women don't like the idea though and I'm not sure why... Every guy that I have ever told this too has thought it was brilliant.

Aaaaand back to the original story. Charly and I teased back and forth a little about how long we would stay. We went to the reception and stayed for a little while. It was nice. I was able to visit with some family I hadn't seen in a while. Receptions aren't all that bad I guess. Maybe I'll even learn to like them being around Charly all the time.... I doubt it though.

Girls love weddings; boys don't.

That means that I, as a girl, love weddings, and Ben, as a boy, doesn't.

This weekend, we came to Vernal for Benjamin's cousin's wedding. It started off with the temple sealing, in the morning. That was beautiful and the one part of the day which Ben didn't grumble about. Pictures afterwards were not too long, either, since we we're just cousins. 

While we were standing outside, waiting for pictures to start, Benjamin said to me, "I am never getting a divorce ... Weddings are such a pain. I do not want to have to get married again." 

He got whacked for that one.

Then we went to the luncheon. After the luncheon, Ben took a three hour nap. When it was time to go to the reception, Ben was dismayed. He had forgotten there was a reception. 

"How did you forget?" I asked with a laugh. 

"I thought the luncheon was the reception ..." 

After we finished getting ready for the reception--Ben had to change back into his nice clothes after forgetting about the reception--Ben said to me, "So we're in and out, right?" 

"What? No," I said. 

After a lengthy discussion on why (or why not in Ben's case) we should stay at least for a decent amount of time, we discovered the problem.

"Why not? They don't even want us to stay long anyways," Ben said.

"That's not true," I said. "Have you ever been a girl at her wedding reception?"

Ben gave me a look. We both laughed. "I think we're just looking at this from different perspectives," Ben said. "You are thinking of this from a girl's mind, I'm thinking of this from the guy's side of things."

We ended up staying a little longer than Ben would have liked, but leaving earlier than I normally would have. It turned out to be a fun night though, and we were both glad to be there for Gavin's wedding.

Fast Sunday Breakfast!

Charly and I missed fast Sunday last month. We forgot it was fast Sunday and ate. In order to make sure that didn't happen again we reminded each other constantly over the course of this last week. Charly really wanted to remember and reminded me quite a bit.

When I woke up this morning (Fast Sunday) Charly was already awake. I was a little sleepy still and so I sort of stumbled out of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

To my surprise Charly was standing there beaming, and pointing and the wonderful breakfast she had made for me. It looked amazing and she had made my two favorite things to have for breakfast, German Pancakes and Fruit/Veggie Smoothies! Right when I saw it I remembered that it was fast Sunday...

"Oh boy," I thought.

I walked up to Charly and just hugged her. She of course wasn't sure how to take that because it was an odd time for a hug.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I'm giving you comfort." I said. "It's fast Sunday."

"Dang it!" Charly exclaimed.

I just kept hugging her and then we started laughing about it.

"I guess we'll just have to fast next Sunday," She said through the laughing.

This is Not a Date.

Friday night is my favorite, because it is date night.And I am very pro-dating. 

Now, if you know me, you know that my definition of dating is different than most anyone else. It has to fit all the criteria for a date--planned for as a date, paid for by one person, and paired off.  On top of that, though, a date is only a date if it feels like a date. 

Lately, because of school and being sick and other obstacles, our date nights haven't exactly met my "date criteria." Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Ben and, since we pretty much everything together just as a couple, we go on a lot of dates, in Ben's definition of a date. I was excited for our date this week, though, and had it planned out flawlessly. 

While I was at school in the morning, I stopped to buy tickets for BYU's Humor U performance that night. That's when everything started going wrong. 

Our one and only car wouldn't start for me after class. I just walked the hour and a half home. Then Ben got home late from work. That, on top of our need to figure out the car (as well as a paper that Ben needed to write for school) meant that we missed our already-paid-for-show. We spent the early evening with our Bishop, trying to get the car to start. 

We finally got it to start and drove home. On the way, Ben remarked, "Well, this was an interesting date." 

"This isn't a date." It had been a hard, stressful day for me and I was very disappointed that our date was, once again, turning into what I considered to not be a date. 

Luckily, we had a gift card to Coldstones Creamery. When we got home, I asked Ben if we could go  out for ice cream. He, of course, agreed. The Coldstones we ended up going to was in the same parking lot as the Provo dollar theater. Before we went inside, we noticed that Monster University was playing in the dollar theater. Neither of us had seen it yet, but we both wanted to, so we went to the 10:30 showing, getting a discount with our student ID's.

It started off as a really awful date for me. Nothing had been gong the way I had planned and I was frustrated. Things turned out perfectly, though, and it was a really great date night. I love my husband. He's not a huge planner and he and I might not agree on the definition of a date. When it's really important, though, Benjamin is so sweet. 

When I got married, I thought it was important to have a husband who would take me dancing and sing me songs on the guitar and plan romantic, fun dates. Those things are nice. I still enjoy listening to Ben play guitar, I love dancing whit him, and I wouldn't mind if he planned more dates. That's not what actually matters, though. 

It matters when I'm upset and he just holds me. 
It's important to me that he takes the lead in finding a way to fix, say, the car. 
I'm so grateful for his patience with me when I'm grumpy that something didn't work out. 
It is perfect that he doesn't get frustrated or stressed like I do. 
It's the little moments in everyday life that are important. And let me tell you, singing romantic songs on the guitar isn't what it's all about.  

When I Couldn't Get Ben to Hold my Hand ...

Ben and I went on our first date January 2011. 
We didn't start exclusively dating until January 2012. 
In that year, we didn't kiss. We didn't hold hands. 
The most I got out of Ben was an arm around my shoulder while we took a picture. 
It was a really long year for me. 

This is the picture with his arm around me.

In October of 2011, about eight months after our first date, I started to get a little impatient with how slowly Benjamin was moving. I liked him a lot. And I mean, A LOT. And I knew he liked me. That was about the time we both started being more obvious about our feelings for each other. But I couldn't understand, if Ben liked me as much as I knew he did, why he didn't make any moves. 

I really wanted Ben to hold my hand. I knew he was careful with his kisses and I didn't expect him to kiss me for a long time. But holding my hand, I thought that was a reasonable expectation. 

Now, normally I didn't have any qualms about holding a guy's hand first. With Ben, though, I was so nervous. I couldn't make myself do it, for whatever reason. 

So, I started hinting. At first, I was subtle. When that didn't work, my hints slowly grew more obvious. Every single time we went out, we would sit close to each other. So close that our legs would be touching. Our hands would be sitting right next to each other. 

But Ben never held my hand. I couldn't understand it. 

Then we started dating exclusively. It was wonderful and exciting and I couldn't have been happier. But he still didn't hold my hand. My family teased me mercilessly when they found that out. 

When I saw him next, we were watching a movie. We were sitting in our normal position, sitting close enough to be touching, both our hands free and sitting next to each other. I sat there, once again wanting to reach for his hand but feeling nervous. Then I thought, "This is ridiculous, we're dating. I can hold hands with my boyfriend." So I did. And later that night, he kissed me. 

It was a great weekend for me. Later, when talking about this situation, Ben told me that he hadn't held my hand because it just hadn't occurred to him. He had wanted to kiss me several times before that, but holding hands wasn't as big of a deal to him as it was to me. Now we look back and laugh at it. 

Pear Picking Pair! (I'm the best at pear jokes)

Oooooh boy am I cutting this blog post close. It's 11:33 pm and I'm just starting. Luckily for you guys this one should be short and pear sweet.

Charly and I went to got pick some pears last Saturday because Charly wants to make fruit leather out of them... can you even make fruit leather out of pairs?

Anywho, it was pretty fun adventure. When we got there most of the pears near the ground were small and not very ripe so I volunteered to climb the tree and try to grab some of the better one higher up. Have you ever climbed a pear tree? DON'T. Anyway, after getting attacked by evil branches and giant spiders I managed to escape with a few pears.

I did manage to make a funny joke though. While I was up in the tree I grabbed a two pears and handed them to Charly.

"Here is a pair," I said in my silly voice.

Charly just rolled her eyes at me but she clearly thought it was funny. I can always tell.

How to Make a Marriage Work

My Grandma Pat died when I was very young. At her funeral, they read a few excerpts from her journal. My Grandma Sue, the woman my Grandpa ended up remarrying, was at the funeral and heard as they read the words, "Arno knew how to make a marriage work," straight from my grandmother's everyday journal.

That is my Grandpa Sue's favorite lessons for the  grandchildren--that my grandfather knows how to make a marriage work and why.

Benjamin, too, knows how to make a marriage work. This is a list of some of those ways.

1. Ben is patient with me. Even when I am grumpy or talkative or irritated or excited.

2. Ben does all the little things still--things like opening the door or putting his arm around me in church.

3. Ben does the dishes while I'm at work and offers to help with dinner.

4. Ben will do things for me even when it isn't necessarily the thing he wants to be doing. He goes grocery shopping and helps me with math homework late at night and drives me to dance.

5. Ben never treats me poorly. He never says anything to me or about me that would indicate a poor opinion of me. Ben lets me know that he thinks I am wonderful and that I can be wonderful.

6. Ben snuggles with me in the mornings when we wake up. I don't know if every healthy marriage needs this, but it sure helps ours.

7. Ben is thoughtful enough to think of my needs. He will carry heavy things, unload the car, and give up his jacket in the cold for me. I never even have to ask.

8. Ben makes me laugh. It is my personal opinion that not every person in the world needs to marry someone funny. What I think they do all need is to marry someone they can laugh with. Our marriage is so much the better for the daily laughter Benjamin brings into it.

9. Ben never lets me wonder if he loves me or misses me or thinks I am beautiful. He will text me, call me, message me on Facebook, leave me notes. It's the last thing he tells me before we fall asleep at night and often the first thing he says when he wakes up.

10. Ben loves the Lord. He makes sure we make it to church every week. He leads me in scripture study and remembers to pray more often than I do. He holds my hand every night as we kneel in couple prayer. Benjamin has a wonderful, strong testimony and that testimony makes our marriage so much the better.

I'm a Genius Math Teacher

I'm sure my family will relate well with this post... Especially Donovan. Too bad he is on his mission and won't get to read this post for a while, oh well.

Thursday I had my Computer Architecture class. During class the teacher taught us about binary math, different bases, and twos compliment.

The entire class was review for me. It was boring. So boring in fact that when I got home from class I started to rant to Charly.

Now you should know that Charly doesn't like math. She doesn't hate it, but she doesn't love it either.

I love math.

When I told Charly about binary math and the different base system she was a little curious; at least, she seemed curious to me. Our conversation went something like this:

"Do you remember place value?" I asked.

"Not really," She answered.

"It's like, you have the ones place, and the tens place, and the one hundreds place, and..."

"Oh yeah, I remember now," She added quickly.

"Well our number system is in a base TEN. If you notice when we get to the number ten we actually don't have a symbol for it. We write a ONE in the tens place and then put a ZERO in the ones place. That represents TEN," I said excitedly. I'm telling you, this is going to sound very familiar to most my family.

"Wow," Charly said, "That is so cool! You should show me what it would be like if our number system was base FOUR!"

Okay, lets be honest... That's not actually what Charly said. That just must be what it sounded like to me... because I started explaining how base four worked. What she actually said was:

"Imagine if we used base four."

Anyway, to make a long story short. Charly got a very thorough math lesson on bases and binary even if she might not have actually wanted it. She will be grateful later though if she needs help in the college math class she is taking this semester.

Understanding Women 101

This is a story that demonstrates my progress with understand women. I feel like I'm coming along quite well compared to most men but I also know that I still have a ton to learn.

Saturday was Brynndi's baptism and it was super cool. I love going to baptisms because the Spirit is always very strong. After the baptism Charly and I went over to Brynndi's grandparent's house for some food. They had a chicken salad with tons of fruits.

I. Love. Fruit. Especially strawberries and they had all kinds of fruits including strawberries.

On my first helping of food Charly turned to me and asked, "Can we could eat dinner with my mom, Jon, and Luke at Olive Garden?"

"Sure," I said. I was actually pretty excited. I like spending time with Charly's family.

After finishing our first helpings Jon and I went to get more fruit. We both piled mounds of our favorite food onto our plates and walked back over to Charly.

Now at this point of the story we need to jump into Charly's mind. She is thinking, "I just told Ben that we are going to Olive Garden right after this. He needs to save some room for that." 

But what she said was,

"You know were going to Olive Garden right after this?"

Now lets look at my mind. I'm thinking, "Charly just barely told me that we are going to Olive Garden. Why is she telling me again? Oh well."

And what I say is,

"Yup. You told me that."

After this statement Charly just kind of laughed at me and went back to talking with some family. I, on the other hand kept wondering why she had told me we where going to Olive Garden when she knew that I already knew.

A few minutes later I realized what she was actually trying to tell me and I just started laughing. I don't even think that Charly realized, at the time, that I didn't know what she was saying.

If there is one thing I've learned about women it's that they don't always say what they mean. They sometimes say something else and hope that you'll catch the message.

It's really funny how different we are. Men and women are so different. We can sometimes act the same but we just aren't built the same but that is what makes marriage so much fun and so rewarding.

The Loaded Plates

On Saturday, Benjamin and I went to my cousin's baptism. My mom wanted to take us, along with my brother Jon, to Olive Garden for dinner while we were in town. I talked to Ben and Jon about the plan while we ate outside, making sure it was okay. Then I called my mother while the boys both disappeared into the house. 

"Hey mom," I said. "Do you still want to go to Olive Garden?" 

"Can Jon make it?" She asked. 

"Yeah, he says he doesn't have other plans." 

"What time would we be going?" My mom went to bed pretty early. I checked my iPod; it was a little before four. 

"We're leaving in just a minute, and then we can go. Does that work for you?" 

"Yeah, we'll see you in a bit." 

Just as I was hanging up the phone, Ben was coming out of the house, carrying a plate loaded with food. I gave him a look. 

"What?" he asked, popping a strawberry into his mouth. 

I gave him another look. "Did you know we're going to Olive Garden after this?

"Yep," he said, "I remember you saying something about going Olive Garden." He picked up a piece of watermelon and put it in his mouth. I rolled my eyes.

That's when I saw Jon coming towards us, also carrying a plate. It was loaded with chicken salad. 

I sighed. "I give up." 

Marriage and Leftovers. (The True Story)

I love this story. I think it shows how even when two people can come from very similar cultures, and have very similar beliefs, that we are still all very different.

A few weeks ago Charly was making dinner and I had just gotten back from work. I'm not exactly sure what she was making but I think that there was chicken with it. I love chicken. I'm trying to eat more proteins because I don't think I get enough during the day.

When I was growing up I was never much of a big eater and so my mom would pretty much let me eat as much as I wanted as long as there was enough for the other people in the family as well. That was what I was used to, so when Charly started putting the rest of the dinner in the fridge, after dishing some out for each of us, but before we had even started eating, I had no clue what she was doing.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Saving some dinner for later," she replied as if it was obvious.

I looked down at my plate and back up at her, "Why?"

"Because that's just what you do. You make dinner, dish some out, put some in the fridge and save it for later."

Now, at this point in the story you should know that Charly often does things simply because she has seen someone else do it that way. I don't know if she has a good reason for it because often she doesn't tell me. She just says, "Because that's just what you do." I think it's really cute when she does this even if I don't understand it.

Back to the story.

"What if I want more?" I asked.

"You don't need more. We need to save this for later. It's called 'leftovers'," she said
.
"What?" I responded laughing. "That's not leftovers. Leftovers is when you eat all you can and then you put what is 'left over' into the fridge. You are putting some of the food away before we have even eaten. That is called 'rations.'"

Charly looked over at me and we both started laughing.

Moral of this story is that when you find the person you want to marry, remember that they are different from you and that the differences you have are good things. Look for them. Laugh at them. and expect them. They make marriage so much more adventurous.

Rations

I have to admit, I don't know a ton about cooking, but what little I do know, I learned from my mom. And my mom was an expert at cooking so that we would be able to make another meal of it. Naturally, then, when I got home from my last grocery shopping trip, I cut up and froze the chicken I had bought. I put three pieces in each bag, two to eat right then and one to put in the fridge for later.

One night, Ben and I got out the chicken and cut it up into little pieces. Ben then cooked it in just a little bit of oil over the stove. That's our favorite way to eat chicken. When he was finished, we put some of it into a casserole I was making. Then Ben started eating it straight out of the pan with a fork.

"What are you doing?" I asked, glancing at him while I scooped the casserole into a pan.

"Eating chicken," he said. I, of course, had already deduced this. When I had asked him what he was doing, what I really meant was, I don't actually want you to do what you are currently doing.

"Okay," I said, compromising. "Just don't eat all of it."

"I'll save some for you," he said.

"Okay," I agreed. "But I also want to put some of it in the fridge for later."

"Why?"

"Leftovers," I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Leftovers?" He asked, shaking his head. "That isn't leftovers. It's rations."

I laughed. "Yes huh. I put extra chicken in the bag for that exact purpose."

"Charly," he said, putting on his most serious face. "Leftovers is when you eat all you want and whatever is leftover you put in the fridge. This is rations."

"Benjamin!" I said exasperatedly. I was mostly joking. "I just want to save some chicken for another meal." I started towards the pan with a container in hand. Benjamin was still standing next to it, a piece of chicken stabbed onto his fork. He grabbed the handle of the pan and started moving away from me. I followed him and we started moving more quickly around the island counter top.

"Benjamin," I said again, my tone less of a joke now. "If we put this in the fridge, then we can eat it tomorrow, or I can put it in something else."

"Charly, do you know how much protein I need?" he asked.

I faltered. "No."

"A lot. Besides, look at this chicken. There isn't even enough left to make it worth saving."

"Thanks to you," I pointed out with a laugh. He shrugged, giving me his I-just-won-and-I-know-it face. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine," I set the container on the counter and stabbed a piece of chicken with my fork.

"Trying to put me on rations," Benjamin said, shaking his head as he set the pan back down.

"Benjamin!" I said again. He grinned at me as I popped a piece of chicken into my mouth.