Sunday, October 20, 2013

Two Dates for Me, One Date for Charly

Just kidding. It was really only one date but it was almost two. Here's the story:

"Thanks bishop!" I said as Charly and I walked back towards our apartment. The day hadn't been going so well even with the bishop's help. Charly had bought tickets to an improve show at BYU but we had missed it because our car Toothless had broken down. The bishop had gotten Toothless started, and back to our apartment, but it took quite a while.

"Well that was an interesting date," I said to Charly. I knew she didn't consider it a date and I was just joking when I said it.

"That wasn't a date," She said gloomily. We entered the apartment.

I knew Charly was frustrated because I can always tell. She was mad that she had paid for the tickets and we couldn't go, she was mad that we hadn't really had a date, and she was frustrated with the car.

You have to understand. Dating is REALLY important to Charly. She hates not having a real date on date night. A couple weeks ago I had been sick and so we hadn't gone on a date. We hadn't been on very many "actual" dates in a while. When Charly gets frustrated like this sometimes it just makes me want to leave the room, or just listen to music, or do something where we don't really have contact. I know she isn't mad at me but I don't like to see her frustrated and sometimes, I don't know what to do. I really just wanted to go lay down in bed, and go to sleep.

At that moment I knew that I needed to talk with her though. I don't know if it was the Spirit that told me, but I knew. I didn't want to. I still wanted to go to bed. But in my mind I thought, "Am I going to invest into this relationship or walk away? If I choose to walk away and avoid the tension now, how many other times will that happen?" I walked up to Charly, sat down, faced her, and said, "Talk to me."

She turned to me, lip quivering, and let everything out. She told me all of her frustrations of the day, how she felt about each one, how hard it was for her to not be able to go on an actual date.

I just listened.

Somewhere along the conversation we both ended up crying and hugging each other. It was a very spiritual moment. We both told each other how important the other was to us. I felt so good and I could tell Charly felt better as well. We ended up going to get some ice cream and seeing a movie together after, so we still got to have our date.

This is a very special story for me and the reason I'm sharing it is because I want everyone to know that in every relationship, you have to make a choice of whether or not you are going to invest in that relationship. If that person is your spouse you should always invest, whatever it takes. It might not be what you want to do at the time but you need to do it. I'm not perfect, not by a long shot, but I am 100% invested in my relationship with Charly. I will always choose to invest in her. I know because I chose to now.

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