The Moment I Decided to Marry my Husband

This one is tricky for me. Have you ever tried to pinpoint a moment that gradually grew into being?

I remember a couple months after we went on our first date, we were at my cousin's house together. I was sitting on the couch and he was rolling around on the floor with my seven-year-old cousin, playing some sort of game with her. As I sat watching, I knew that Benjamin was the sort of guy I could marry, the sort of man I wanted as the father of my children. 

It wasn't until later that I decided Benjamin was the one for me. I think it happened before we were officially dating; I knew that Ben had all the qualities that I was looking for in a spouse. 

I remember after we were dating, I was so sure Benjamin and I would end up together. We were in love and I knew that, so I didn't foresee anything coming between us. I would pray to Heavenly Father at night and say, "Heavenly Father, Benjamin is the one I want. I want to marry him." I felt so good afterwards, every time, I was sure that meant that I just had to be patient because eventually, my wish would come true.

Then we broke up. 

That put a damper in all my plans. It was hard for me because it had been a done deal in my mind. I felt that I was giving up on Benjamin and that it wasn't right to fall in love with someone else when I had been so in love with Ben before. 

Luckily for me, Benjamin later decided that I was the one he wanted to marry. 

Luckily for him, I hadn't changed my mind. 

11 Dollar Soap

Ben and I were in the bathroom one day when Benjamin grabbed my bottle of body wash out of the shower.

Holding it up to show me, he asked, "Was this really eleven dollars?" 

"What?" I asked. 

"I was using is before, until I saw this--" Ben pointed to the price tag on the back of the bottle, clearly labeled $11. 

I laughed. "Yes, it was eleven dollars, at Bath and Body Works. It was probably on some sort of sale though." 

Ben thought for a moment. "I'll just use the other soap." 

New Family Goals

Eat Healthy 
No eating refined sugars
Drink enough water for the day
Eat fruits and vegetables for the day

Budget Money 
No spending money without consulting the other person (excepting necessities)
No eating out, even when traveling
Plan date night expenses in advance

Exercise 
Exercise every day ... even if it's Just Dance together.

A List of Charly's Gifts and Talents

Charly and I are taking a marriage class at Church. It's really fun. This week we decided to take some advice from the class and list each others talents and gifts. We are starting off with 5. We will update this as we go.

1. Charly is supportive. This is something I learned about her just recently and I love it about her.

2. Charly is great at dance and great at teaching it.

3. Charly is an amazing writer. I love everything she has ever written.

4. Charly is loving. Not just with me but with everyone she knows. She cares about people.

5. Charly is a great wife! I'm serious. Other men should be really jealous of me.

This is Not a Date.

Friday night is my favorite, because it is date night.And I am very pro-dating. 

Now, if you know me, you know that my definition of dating is different than most anyone else. It has to fit all the criteria for a date--planned for as a date, paid for by one person, and paired off.  On top of that, though, a date is only a date if it feels like a date. 

Lately, because of school and being sick and other obstacles, our date nights haven't exactly met my "date criteria." Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Ben and, since we pretty much everything together just as a couple, we go on a lot of dates, in Ben's definition of a date. I was excited for our date this week, though, and had it planned out flawlessly. 

While I was at school in the morning, I stopped to buy tickets for BYU's Humor U performance that night. That's when everything started going wrong. 

Our one and only car wouldn't start for me after class. I just walked the hour and a half home. Then Ben got home late from work. That, on top of our need to figure out the car (as well as a paper that Ben needed to write for school) meant that we missed our already-paid-for-show. We spent the early evening with our Bishop, trying to get the car to start. 

We finally got it to start and drove home. On the way, Ben remarked, "Well, this was an interesting date." 

"This isn't a date." It had been a hard, stressful day for me and I was very disappointed that our date was, once again, turning into what I considered to not be a date. 

Luckily, we had a gift card to Coldstones Creamery. When we got home, I asked Ben if we could go  out for ice cream. He, of course, agreed. The Coldstones we ended up going to was in the same parking lot as the Provo dollar theater. Before we went inside, we noticed that Monster University was playing in the dollar theater. Neither of us had seen it yet, but we both wanted to, so we went to the 10:30 showing, getting a discount with our student ID's.

It started off as a really awful date for me. Nothing had been gong the way I had planned and I was frustrated. Things turned out perfectly, though, and it was a really great date night. I love my husband. He's not a huge planner and he and I might not agree on the definition of a date. When it's really important, though, Benjamin is so sweet. 

When I got married, I thought it was important to have a husband who would take me dancing and sing me songs on the guitar and plan romantic, fun dates. Those things are nice. I still enjoy listening to Ben play guitar, I love dancing whit him, and I wouldn't mind if he planned more dates. That's not what actually matters, though. 

It matters when I'm upset and he just holds me. 
It's important to me that he takes the lead in finding a way to fix, say, the car. 
I'm so grateful for his patience with me when I'm grumpy that something didn't work out. 
It is perfect that he doesn't get frustrated or stressed like I do. 
It's the little moments in everyday life that are important. And let me tell you, singing romantic songs on the guitar isn't what it's all about.  

When I Was Oblivious to Charly's Signals that She Wanted Me to Hold Her Hand.

I'm just an oblivious sort of guy. I know there were many times where Charly wanted me to hold her hand but I didn't. She probably gave me some sort of signal as well. I know all the signals now because she has told them to me. Before though, I had no clue.

I remember one night when we were at Charly's house and we were watching Robin Hood. During the movie I really wanted to kiss her. I don't think we were even dating at the time yet but I sure wanted to kiss her. I didn't though.

I remember another time when Charly and I were at the temple and I was showing her something on my iPod. She was holding the iPod so I used that as an excuse to put my hand under the hand she was using to hold the iPod. It was a small moment to everyone else but it was huge for me.

You see, I take any sort of physical statement very seriously. I feel that holding hands is something you should only do if you really like somebody. I know everyone will have different views on this but the fact is that most girls take physical attention as a sign of love and guys don't usually see it the same. There are exceptions to this but many times this is true. I think that men need to be careful. They might lead a girl on without even meaning to just because they don't see things the same way.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm actually a very physical person once I feel like I'm committed to a relationship but before that I'm very careful. I don't know if this is the best way to be while dating but it's the way I chose to be.

I know this was very frustrating for Charly but I didn't know this at the time... well, mostly. Charly has always been very patient with me and I love that about her. I know it drives her crazy sometimes. I guess when it comes to love crazy can be a good thing.

Pear Picking Pair! (I'm the best at pear jokes)

Oooooh boy am I cutting this blog post close. It's 11:33 pm and I'm just starting. Luckily for you guys this one should be short and pear sweet.

Charly and I went to got pick some pears last Saturday because Charly wants to make fruit leather out of them... can you even make fruit leather out of pairs?

Anywho, it was pretty fun adventure. When we got there most of the pears near the ground were small and not very ripe so I volunteered to climb the tree and try to grab some of the better one higher up. Have you ever climbed a pear tree? DON'T. Anyway, after getting attacked by evil branches and giant spiders I managed to escape with a few pears.

I did manage to make a funny joke though. While I was up in the tree I grabbed a two pears and handed them to Charly.

"Here is a pair," I said in my silly voice.

Charly just rolled her eyes at me but she clearly thought it was funny. I can always tell.

Our First Date: When I accidentally forgot about Ben being a creepy Facebook stalker and fell in love with him instead.

After the night that Benjamin and I met (http://lovegogglesbc.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-first-spark-between-benjamin-and-me.html), I might have fallen in love with him. I might have, except for the fact that he turned into a creeper.

I'm not kidding.

He looked through all my pictures on Facebook. ALL of them.
All the way back to the ones from seventh grade.
And I knew about it, because he commented on half of them.
He liked everything I posted on Facebook. Everything. 
And then he would he would comment on it.
And try to start conversations about his mission and his family in the comments.
Ben was all over my Facebook.
He even friended my mom.
I was just like, Who are you? I don't even know you. 

Ben says he was being subtle.

Then came the time that he asked for my number. Ben didn't ask for it on Facebook, despite the fact that we were apparently best friends on there. Nope, he told my cousin (our mutual best friend) Jeremy to get it for him.

Jeremy called me up. He said, and I quote, "Hey, Ben wants to know if he can have your number, but he can't tell you why yet." He can't tell you why yet? What, is this some sort of mystery story? Like I don't already know why he wants my number.

Turns out, his "secret" reason for wanting my number was so he could text me on my birthday.

The week after Christmas break, I was back at work, vacuuming classrooms after school, when Jeremy called me. Our conversation went something like this:

"What're you doing on Friday?" Jeremy asked.

"Mmm ... Maybe babysitting. I don't have anything planned yet. Why?" I said.

"Just wondering." Jeremy said.

I waited, but Jeremy didn't elaborate. "What do you mean, just wondering?"

"Nothing. I was just wondering."

I didn't buy it. People don't just call other people up and ask what they're doing on a certain day simply because their curious. Especially when those people are me and Jeremy.

Before I could question him further, however, Jeremy hung up the phone. I was pretty sure I knew why he'd called. My suspicions were confirmed when, five minutes later, Ben called me.

He asked me to go with him on a date Friday night. I said yes, because I was trying to date a hundred guys and, creeper though he was, he did seem nice. I hung up thinking, We could probably end up pretty good friends.

Ben was late picking me up. When he came to the door, I was struck again with just how cute he was. I didn't let it get to me, however. There are plenty of attractive men in this world, but that doesn't mean you have to fall in love with them all.

For the date, we made sock puppets together. We had yarn and buttons, along with a package of new socks. At first, it was a little bit awkward. I didn't know what to say and Ben was (what I now know to be uncharacteristically) quiet. The awkwardness helped remind me that I did not want anything at all to happen between Ben and I.

Then Brynndi got home from school. Brynndi is Jeremy's little sister. She absolutely adores Benjamin, and Ben adores her right back. Brynndi walked through the door, saw Ben, and ran towards him. Ben held arms out for her and picked her up, swinging her. Both of them were laughing.

I watched and my heart melted to my toes. I had never seen anything more adorable in my life.

Soon after that, Ben and I started laughing together. We found food coloring and started dying our sock puppets. We spilled it all over the counter and couldn't get it to come off. For some reason, that was absolutely hilarious to us. Ben and I were laughing so hard together.

The boys had put together a little puppet show of Green Eggs and Ham for the girls. They performed it for us after we'd finished our sock puppets. It was very cute and they had us laughing our heads off.

We played a game, still laughing together, until Jeremy's date had to go home. We all loaded into the car. Because they had just picked up Brynndi, her car seat was still in the back. I climbed in, sitting in the middle seat. Ben slid in next to me, close enough that our arms touched.

I don't even know how to describe what happened. It felt like ... like when we kiss.

I know, I know, our arms touched. How romantic. Except, that it really was. It was like magic.

It was only ten o'clock and I didn't have a curfew, so I went back to Jeremy's house with the boys. We watched Psych until midnight, when they finally took me home.

I went home feeling on top of the world.

The First Time I Saw Charly

I guess it isn't technically the first time we saw each other because we did meet before my mission but we were both young and we didn't even notice each other, so we don't count it.

Here is the real story of the first time I saw Charly.

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It was Saturday, November 20th, 2010.

It was snowing, I was driving to one of my best friends' birthday party, and I was lost.

I had taken the wrong exit and I was trying to find my way to his house through the neighborhoods. I must have hit hundreds of dead end roads. That's how the neighborhoods are in West Jordan but I didn't know that. I was a country boy from Vernal, Utah, just off my mission and out going to college. The dead ends didn't detour me, though. Well, I had to go around them, but they didn't stop me.

I was late but I finally found Jeremy's house. When I got up to the door there was a note on it that said something about the birthday party being at his grandparent's house. I'd been to their house before but it had been a long time and I didn't remember how to get there. Luckily for me there were directions on the note and they were simple enough to follow.

Before getting in the car I made some footprints in the snow to write a phrase on Jeremy's lawn. It said,

"Ben was here."

I smiled at myself, pleased with the joke.

I quickly found Jeremy's grandparents' house and went inside. Jeremy and I hadn't seen each other since before my mission and it was really good to see him. He had some other friends over and a girl that I knew that he liked.

Jeremy's mom Kim got everyone organized and we started playing party games. The first one we played was a game where all the questions were about Jeremy and we had to see how well we knew him. I'm sad to say that after over two years without seeing him I was terrible at the game.

While playing the next game, Jeremy's little sister Brynndi came over and sat down next to me. She was only five-years-old and she was super cute. She had been practically a baby before my mission and I didn't remember her that well. Now she was leaning against me and grabbing my arm and just being a little girl. How could I resist? We instantly became friends and she even started helping me with the game. Little did I know that the friendship I built with Brynndi that night would play a large role in my first date with Charly.

After the game about Jeremy, we started playing a game where you had to stand up and convince people that some story (one that had actually happened to a different person in the room) had happened to you. The game was mostly about lying and I was pretty good at that one. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Nevertheless, I was good at it.

During one part when I was standing up, the door to the room opened and a cute blonde girl walked in. She was smiling and Jeremy went over to her to give her a hug and chew her out for being late. I just stared at her for a couple heartbeats. She had a huge smile that lit up her whole face and she was exactly my kind of beautiful. I felt my heart tighten in my chest and I wanted to get to know her better.

She looked over at me and gave me the most curious look that I thought made her even more endearing. That's about the time I looked away and started trying to show off for her. I'm sure I impressed her with my lying skills.

Even though I wasn't looking at her anymore, it was like my mind was always aware of her and where she was in the room. I hadn't ever felt that way about anyone before and I would never feel that way about any other girl.

The rest of the party was fun and I even got to see her again the next day. Every time I was around her, though, it was the same thing: I always knew where she was. She was in my head and I didn't want her to leave.

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Now I know this is kind of a long story but I feel that it is worth it. Next week Charly and I will tell the story of our first date. It is super funny and we will be putting up a post in the middle of this week announcing a little more about it.

Charly and I appreciate everyone who reads and comments on our blog. Thank you guys for the support. We really enjoy sharing our experiences with you. We hope you enjoy them and maybe even learn from them too.

This Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (My Favorite Picture of Charly and Me)

Good thing I have a picture because I don't want to write a thousand words and I know that none of our readers want to read a thousand words.

Choosing the picture for this blog was hard because there are a ton of great pictures of Charly and me together. I finally chose this one and I'm excited to see which one Charly chose.

This is my favorite picture of Charly and I together. It's from one of our first dates. Charly and I are really goofy, well, I'm goofy and I rub off on Charly. We are always laughing and always having fun. I think this picture represents that.

In this picture we were just at the mall trying on random hats and glasses. Charly loves taking pictures and it was a good excuse for me to put my arm around her so we took lots of pictures.

The Loaded Plates

On Saturday, Benjamin and I went to my cousin's baptism. My mom wanted to take us, along with my brother Jon, to Olive Garden for dinner while we were in town. I talked to Ben and Jon about the plan while we ate outside, making sure it was okay. Then I called my mother while the boys both disappeared into the house. 

"Hey mom," I said. "Do you still want to go to Olive Garden?" 

"Can Jon make it?" She asked. 

"Yeah, he says he doesn't have other plans." 

"What time would we be going?" My mom went to bed pretty early. I checked my iPod; it was a little before four. 

"We're leaving in just a minute, and then we can go. Does that work for you?" 

"Yeah, we'll see you in a bit." 

Just as I was hanging up the phone, Ben was coming out of the house, carrying a plate loaded with food. I gave him a look. 

"What?" he asked, popping a strawberry into his mouth. 

I gave him another look. "Did you know we're going to Olive Garden after this?

"Yep," he said, "I remember you saying something about going Olive Garden." He picked up a piece of watermelon and put it in his mouth. I rolled my eyes.

That's when I saw Jon coming towards us, also carrying a plate. It was loaded with chicken salad. 

I sighed. "I give up." 

The Rain Adventure

Well, I'm not going to write about the time the Charly chased me through our apartment with a spray bottle... Even though I'm quite proud of the evasive maneuvers that I used to escape.

What I will write about is the adventure that we had Saturday night.

We were in Vernal. I was with Hannah and Charly was upstairs reading. Hannah and I went outside to jump on the tramp and it was raining. The cool air and cold raindrops felt good against my skin. I looked over at Hannah, wide eyed and excited.

"We should go get Charly," I said.
She looked back at me and grinned. "Yeah!" She answered excitedly.

We ran upstairs. I grabbed a paper on my brother Dalin's desk to use as a bookmark, I didn't want to loose Charly's spot when I kidnapped her. I ran from the desk over to Charly and put the bookmark in her book. Then I grabbed her hand and started dragging her out of the room.

"Where are you taking me?" She said smiling.
"Come Rook!" I answered in my silly voice.
"Benjamin, where are we going?" She said resisting my pull.
"An adventure!" I said.

She reluctantly followed me downstairs and outside onto the tramp. We started jumping in the rain. my little brother Caleb joined us and we played ring around the rosy.

The rain was making dark spots on our cloths.
"We are leopards!" I said. It took Charly a couple seconds to get the joke. She gave me her that's-ridiculous look.

I jumped off the tramp and grabbed a soft ball that was on the lawn. I threw it at Charly, Caleb and Hannah. It hit Caleb, bounced off and hit Charly.

"You're it Caleb!" I said. Caleb jumped off the tramp and I got back on. Caleb threw the ball at me and I dodged it just like the matrix. Charly was obviously impressed. The ball landed in some big green horse radish plants.

"Where did it go?" Caleb asked.
"It went in the Dinosaur plants," I answered.
Caleb got the ball and hit Hannah. We continued playing our game. It was still raining and we were getting quite wet.

Close to the end of our game both Caleb and Hannah were hit. They both got off to get the ball.
"It's you two against Charly and me!" I announced. "But don't expect to win because we've been to college." I said the last part in the most confident voice I could find.

I managed to do some more amazing matrix dodges but eventually I got hit.
"Charly and I lose." I said.

After our game the little adventure came to an end. I had a blast though and I'm sure that Caleb, Hannah, and Charly did as well.

The End

Adventure wanted.

Being married is great. Serious. You should all try it. Ben and I, though, recently realized that we have become somewhat boring since getting married. We haven't had too many adventures in the last little while. And we love adventures. 

So, Ben and I left our little home in Orem to come to Vernal for a week. We're currently staying with his parents. And upstairs, they have a wonderful little bookshelf of books. Last night, I picked myself a nice little book (the second The Work and the Glory, since I just finished the first one) and was reading upstairs. Ben was off playing some Nintendo games with his younger siblings, giving them some much-missed attention. 

My quiet reading space was disturbed when Benjamin ran into the room that I was reading in, followed by his little sister Hannah. Ben ran to the bed where I was sitting, stopped like he was looking for something, and then ran over to the dresser. There he picked up a folded piece of paper, which he proceeded to stick in my book before closing it. I get pretend-mad at him when he loses my spot in a book; it's an almost-daily occurrence.

He grabbed my hand and led me towards the door, not saying a word to my bewildered questioning. Hannah and Ben were both racing so fast, they were acting like the house was on fire. 

"Ben," I said, before willingly following. "What are we doing?"

He gave me one of his mischievous smiles. "Come on." 

"Ben," I laughed, letting him pull me to the door. "Come on to where?" 

"Come on," he said again. Hannah had disappeared down the stairs, so I followed Ben down the stairs and out the front door, Ben never letting go of my hand. 

It wasn't until we were outside on the porch that I realized what they wanted of me. I saw the rain, coming down in splattered clumps and Caleb already waiting on the tramp. My smile now matched Benjamin's. 

"Oh," was all I said. Hannah joined Caleb, then Ben. I was the last one on the tramp. We jumped and laughed, rain falling down on us. Ben grabbed a ball and we started a game. We had a grand old time of it. Ben's parents even came out and sat on the swing under the porch roof to watch.

Ben and I needed a good little adventure. Vernal fits the bill perfectly. 

We Buy Books, Not Food.

I had never before bought a book. I have spent more time than anyone I know in bookstores and libraries. Half the dates Ben and I have gone on have been spent in Barnes and Noble. One of my hobbies is searching out little used bookstores and libraries in little towns. I look and look at books, browsing and reading and drooling over them. But I've never bought one. Until last week.

For date night last Friday, Ben and I decided to visit Barnes and Noble. Just to look. We'd done it so many times before, it didn't even cross my mind that it would turn into more than that.

There were so many books and every single one, one of would say, "That book looks so good, I want to read that ..." or "Oh man, I love this book. This is one we're going to buy someday for our library." So we pulled out Ben's iPod and started making a wishlist of books.

I was about getting to the going-home point when Ben looked at me, his smile telling me he was about to suggest something that I might say no to, but would probably say yes to. "What if we splurge and each buy one book?" I smiled at his suggestion and we did. It was my first taste of buying a book and I liked it. We made a new tradition of buying one book each every paycheck.

The next day, I talked him into going with me to a used bookstore that was having a good sale--up to 70% off everything.

"Charly," Ben told me, "if we go there, we will end up buying more books, and we can't for another two weeks."

"We won't buy anything," I assured him. "I just want to see what deals they have."  And if they have good ones, then maybe we'll get it, I thought to myself.

"Charly." Ben didn't look convinced. "We can't walk into a bookstore and walk out without buying books."

"Sure we can," I argued back. "We used to do it all the time when we were dating."

"That's because we didn't have money when we were dating."

"We still don't have money," I pointed out.

And with that, we went to the bookstore. At first, there were no books that we were even slightly interested in. We split up and then I found the classics section.

By the time Ben found me, I had a pile of books--Jane Eyre, Charles Dickens, The Count of Monte Cristo ... and I wasn't half way through the section. Ben found a couch and took a nap until I was finished going through the books. He helped me carry my pile up to the register.

Before we bought the books, Ben and I went through my pile three or four times, weeding out the ones that I wasn't absolutely dying to buy. We ended up with fifteen books, and the guy at the register threw in an older book that I was pining over. Sixteen books total. We got some good deals, especially on The Mistborn Series, in brand new condition for only sixteen dollars.

"One book a paycheck?" Ben said in the car.

"Oops," I said, smiling one of my most innocent smiles. "We'll stick to that from now on."

Ben raised his eyebrows. "How about, we can buy another book after you finish reading all of those."

"Okay," I agreed quickly. I knew it wouldn't take me long.