Charly in One Word

Charly is determined.

"having made a firm decision and being resolved not to change it." - Google

I chose this word to describe Charly because it is the word that stands out to me most. Charly doesn't give up. She stands strong for what she believes. If there is something that needs to be done she will work until it gets done. If something isn't working out for her she will try multiple different ways of trying to get it to work. I see this as a glimpse of her faith.

One time on my mission I asked an investigator what the word "faith" meant to them. The investigator said, "faith was never giving up."

Charly is determined and she has that kind of faith.

Benjamin in Only 1 Word

Patient.

If you know Benjamin at all, you will understand why I chose this word. For Ben, being patient is more than something he simply does; patience is something he is. When he drives, when he talks, when he helps me with my math homework--Ben is patient. This is one of the biggest differences in our personalities and I am constantly striving to be more like him in this area. It's one of the first things I noticed about him and continues to be one of my favorite things about my husband.

The Things Charly Does to Keep Our Relationship Strong

I think the title explains this post pretty well. These aren't in any specific order. I just wrote each one as I thought of it.

1. Charly loves me.

I know because she tells me and  because she serves me and puts up with me.

2. She works hard.

She is always doing something whether it's school, cleaning the house, or working her part time job. She is a hard worker and she is always busy.

3. She spends as much time with me as she can.

Sometimes it's hard with school and work and all of the things we are doing but she always makes time for me. Even if all we do is watch a doctor who episode during lunch, we make sure to spend time together every day.

4. She listens to me.

Let's be honest... I talk a lot. Sometimes I talk about things that I know that Charly really isn't interested in, like math or programming, but she still listens.

5. She shares her feelings with me.

I'm very grateful that she tells me how she is feeling. I know I'm not the best yet when it comes to validating and empathizing but it makes me feel like I'm part of Charly's life when she shares her frustrations, joys, and other feelings with me.

6. She feeds me.

Yup. I'm a guy. I need food. I try to help with preparing the food, even if I just get out the dishes or clean them after but lets be honest, she is a much better cook.

7. She lets me hold her hand almost all of the time.

8. Sometimes she kisses me first.

Let me tell you. I'm pretty lucky. Sometimes I get kisses when I'm not expecting them and I love that about Charly.

9. She helps me make sure that we read our scriptures and say our prayers together every night.

10. She goes on dates with me every week.

I think this one is one of the most important ones. It's up there with spending time together. We always have fun on our dates even when they only consist of buying a couple books at Barnes and Noble.

I remember every day how lucky I am to have Charly as my wife. I'm so glad that I chose to ask her to marry me and that she chose to say yes.

How to Make a Marriage Work

My Grandma Pat died when I was very young. At her funeral, they read a few excerpts from her journal. My Grandma Sue, the woman my Grandpa ended up remarrying, was at the funeral and heard as they read the words, "Arno knew how to make a marriage work," straight from my grandmother's everyday journal.

That is my Grandpa Sue's favorite lessons for the  grandchildren--that my grandfather knows how to make a marriage work and why.

Benjamin, too, knows how to make a marriage work. This is a list of some of those ways.

1. Ben is patient with me. Even when I am grumpy or talkative or irritated or excited.

2. Ben does all the little things still--things like opening the door or putting his arm around me in church.

3. Ben does the dishes while I'm at work and offers to help with dinner.

4. Ben will do things for me even when it isn't necessarily the thing he wants to be doing. He goes grocery shopping and helps me with math homework late at night and drives me to dance.

5. Ben never treats me poorly. He never says anything to me or about me that would indicate a poor opinion of me. Ben lets me know that he thinks I am wonderful and that I can be wonderful.

6. Ben snuggles with me in the mornings when we wake up. I don't know if every healthy marriage needs this, but it sure helps ours.

7. Ben is thoughtful enough to think of my needs. He will carry heavy things, unload the car, and give up his jacket in the cold for me. I never even have to ask.

8. Ben makes me laugh. It is my personal opinion that not every person in the world needs to marry someone funny. What I think they do all need is to marry someone they can laugh with. Our marriage is so much the better for the daily laughter Benjamin brings into it.

9. Ben never lets me wonder if he loves me or misses me or thinks I am beautiful. He will text me, call me, message me on Facebook, leave me notes. It's the last thing he tells me before we fall asleep at night and often the first thing he says when he wakes up.

10. Ben loves the Lord. He makes sure we make it to church every week. He leads me in scripture study and remembers to pray more often than I do. He holds my hand every night as we kneel in couple prayer. Benjamin has a wonderful, strong testimony and that testimony makes our marriage so much the better.

I'm a Genius Math Teacher

I'm sure my family will relate well with this post... Especially Donovan. Too bad he is on his mission and won't get to read this post for a while, oh well.

Thursday I had my Computer Architecture class. During class the teacher taught us about binary math, different bases, and twos compliment.

The entire class was review for me. It was boring. So boring in fact that when I got home from class I started to rant to Charly.

Now you should know that Charly doesn't like math. She doesn't hate it, but she doesn't love it either.

I love math.

When I told Charly about binary math and the different base system she was a little curious; at least, she seemed curious to me. Our conversation went something like this:

"Do you remember place value?" I asked.

"Not really," She answered.

"It's like, you have the ones place, and the tens place, and the one hundreds place, and..."

"Oh yeah, I remember now," She added quickly.

"Well our number system is in a base TEN. If you notice when we get to the number ten we actually don't have a symbol for it. We write a ONE in the tens place and then put a ZERO in the ones place. That represents TEN," I said excitedly. I'm telling you, this is going to sound very familiar to most my family.

"Wow," Charly said, "That is so cool! You should show me what it would be like if our number system was base FOUR!"

Okay, lets be honest... That's not actually what Charly said. That just must be what it sounded like to me... because I started explaining how base four worked. What she actually said was:

"Imagine if we used base four."

Anyway, to make a long story short. Charly got a very thorough math lesson on bases and binary even if she might not have actually wanted it. She will be grateful later though if she needs help in the college math class she is taking this semester.

Math for Breakfast

Thursday morning, I was minding my own business and eating waffles for breakfast. Waffles are my new favorite thing to eat. I was sitting at the counter and Ben was at the table on his computer. Ben is a computer science major and was working on homework.

He was talking out loud about what he was working on. My knowledge of computer science being basically nonexistent, I had no clue what he was talking about. I told Benjamin as much and he explained in simpler terms. I accepted his explanation without further question. Ben, however, didn't seem content with the simple fix to my ignorance on the subject.

"Do you know anything about bases?" Ben asked me, walking to join me at the counter. 

"Mmm ... I don't know," I said. 

"Do you know what place values are?" He asked. 

"Maybe," I said with a shrug. "I don't remember." 

Ben grabbed the nearest piece of paper and started writing out 1, 10, 100, 1000. "So this," he said, pointing to his paper, "would be the ones place, the tens place, the--" 

"Oh!" I said, cutting him off and feeling a little silly for not knowing what he had been talking about before. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I just didn't realize that's what you were talking about when you said it." 

Ben nodded. "So we use a base ten." He then explained what using a base ten meant. It seemed pretty familiar to me; I think we probably learned about it in math when I was in high school. After he'd finished his explanation to me, I felt very content with the extent of my math lesson. 

"Can you imagine if we had to use a base four?" I asked rhetorically. I thought it was a good comment to end with. 

"Let's try it," Ben said. Without waiting for my inevitable protest, he grabbed the piece of paper again. He wrote it out and explained how to figure everything out. We then spent a few minutes writing out different numbers with a base of four. 

Then Ben said, "Now, what if we had a base 2?" 

I groaned. Ben smiled. He wrote it all out and we figured out how you would write different numbers in this base too. 

"This is binary math," he explained excitedly. "It's what computers use." 

At the end of my math lesson, Ben said reassuringly, "Don't worry, I've done this to lots of people--my mom, Melissa, Dalin ..." The list went on and on. 

I suppose that's what I get for marrying a nerd. At least he'll be rich, right?